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Need feedback on your synopsis? Post it here.
Brandi Larsen
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 2:43 PM
Joined: 6/18/2012
Posts: 229


Want feedback on your synopsis? Post it here so others can help.
Robin Gregory
Posted: Friday, March 28, 2014 5:54 PM
Joined: 3/1/2014
Posts: 4


Synopsis for my debut novel...Thank you for your feedback!

 


 

A baby is left on the steps of an orphanage, without any clues to his origin. He is simply there one morning, swaddled in a cougar skin and cradled in a grain bucket. Some months later, a childless couple, Henry and Kate Littleman, adopt him. It turns out, the charming boy they name Lucien has a fearsome temper and is disabled. His limbs are partially paralyzed, his speech and learning skills delayed. He struggles to connect with his disapproving father and his doting mother, a struggle that intensifies because of his supernatural powers.

 

When eight-year-old Lucien sends a book crashing through a window with the power of his mind alone, his parents clash over how to deal with him. Henry insists on sending Lucien back to the orphanage. Kate refuses. Seething with anger toward Henry, she drives off in her car and gets killed in a collision. 

 

Distraught over his wife’s death, and blaming his son, Henry sends a heartbroken Lucien to live with his grandfather who he does not know well. Soon after arriving at his grandfather’s ranch, Lucien has conflict with this fierce war hero, and longs to return to life with his father. Against his grandfather’s wishes, and desperate for friendship, Lucien befriends a clan of outcasts called The Shining Ones who live in a cave in the nearby mountains.

 

Lucien learns The Shining Ones are from another realm, apart from Earth. Having reached the end of a failed mission to teach “worldlings” the ancient ways of peace, their leaders have ordered them to return home. The trip will be made via a sky portal, which only opens as a result of a violent earthquake.

 

Having supernatural powers of his own draws Lucien to this mysterious group, whose members possess powers of healing and prophecy, and they never age. When the group’s elder, Enhe, witnesses Lucien healing a dying cow, she becomes convinced he is the son of a “Lost One,” a maiden of the clan who ran off with a worldling nine years before. Enhe sees Lucien as someone who might carry on the clan’s teachings, and offers to help him master his unusual powers. Happy that she sees his potential, he is willing to risk his grandfather’s wrath for the chance. Enhe helps Lucien master his temper, practice forgiveness and use his powers in service to others. In fits and starts, his character changes, and he also gradually and unexpectedly gains freedom from his disabilities.

 

Along the way, he falls in love with a Shining One named Babylonia. Because her parents were murdered by worldlings, she does not trust Lucien. As well, he must contend with a magician/bully named Rimush who lays claim to her. Lucien repeatedly succumbs to his rival’s taunting and takes a beating, physically and mentally.

 

At seventeen Lucien’s father has never once come to visit. Lucien thinks of himself as part of the clan and plans to leave Earth with them when the great earthquake comes and the portal opens—to make a new life with The Shining Ones in their realm. Unfortunately, on a dare from Rimush, he shoots his grandfather’s goat and offers it to The Shining Ones as a gift, thinking it will impress Babylonia. She and the others are appalled. Meanwhile, his grandfather assumes the clan killed his goat and falls to his death while hunting them down.

 

When it comes time for the clan to leave the Earth, Lucien is once again challenged by Rimush, but this time, Lucien stands down, proving himself profoundly transformed in character. This wins Babylonia’s heart and she professes her love for him.

 

Just as the portal is opening, Lucien learns his estranged father’s life is in danger. Torn between the life he once had and the life he wants, he chooses to stay behind to save his father. The bond of family and the need to forgive are too strong, something for which he has Babylonia and Enhe to thank for teaching him. Though his heart breaks when he says goodbye to the clan and the girl he loves, the desire to reunite with his father, and to heal their broken bond, is too compelling. #


S. T. Collier
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 2:09 AM
Joined: 6/4/2013
Posts: 35


updated synopsis for Our WIP; Adventures of Lykaios: The Black Sails of Crete.

 

Please keep in mind that it is only a third of the whole synopsis as the whole story is a ongoing Work In Progress.

 

As the third full moon rises upon his seventeen summer, Lykaios leaves the safety of Chiron's Grove to complete his coming of age ritual; to track and claim the pelt of a monstrous wolf that a been stalking the foothills of Mount Parnassus. Having claimed the Wolf's pelt and proving his status as a hero, Lykaios is drawn to follow a giant eagle as it soars towards the Navel of the Earth; The Oracle of Delphi. upon reaching the Temple of the Oracle ready to stand before the voice of the Sun-God Apollo and learn his fate, Lykaios comes face-to-face with Theseus; King of Athens and Slayer of Asterion the Minotaur.


 

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