FacebookTwitterPinterestInstagramTumblrGoogleYouTube
 
 
RSS Feed Print
Those Awful Rock Lyrics!
Carl E. Reed
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 10:02 AM
Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 608


I love Rock & Roll. So put another dime in the jukebox, baby! (As Joan Jett so memorably sang.)

 

But sometimes rock lyrics can be jaw-droppingly stupid, eh? In a slapped-palms-to-the-forehead manner a writer of genre or literary fiction could never get away with.

 

Examples? For your delectation and awestruck delight, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

 

 

 

She had the face of an angel / smiling with sin / the body of Venus, with arms . . .

 

                                                                                --AC/DC: “A Touch Too Much”

  

 

Let’s sway under the moonlight / this serious moonlight . . .

 

                                                                                --David Bowie: “Let’s Dance”

 

 

Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go / I wanna be sedated . . .

 

                                                                                --The Ramones: “I Wanna Be Sedated”

 


I'll be damned, here comes your ghost again / but that's not unusual / it's just that the moon is full / and you decided to call.

 

         
                                                                                  --Judas Priest (lyrics by Joan Baez): "Diamonds & Rust"  

 

 

The first two choruses, in their entirety, of Cheap Trick's "Surrender":

 

Mother told me, yes, she told me
That I'd meet girls like you
She also told me, "Stay away
You'll never know what you'll catch"
Just the other day I heard
Of a soldier's falling off
Some Indonesian junk
That's going round

Father says, "Your mother's right
She's really up on things
Before we married, Mommy served
In the WACS in the Philippines"
Now, I had heard the WACS recruited
Old maids for the war
But mommy isn't one of those
I've known her all these years

 

  

Your favorites? I can’t wait to groan . . . 

 

--edited by Carl E. Reed on 10/16/2013, 11:38 AM--


Brandi Larsen
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:41 AM
Joined: 6/18/2012
Posts: 229


Good thread!

 

I struggled with Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" lyrics as she listed elements that were/ supposed to be (?) ironic, but mostly were things that just sucked, especially: "It's a black fly in your Chardonnay."

 

I also had a hard time with the chorus in Jewel's "Hands" song: "My hands are small I know / but they're not yours, they are my own."


Bradley James Weber
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 12:07 PM
Joined: 2/13/2013
Posts: 5


Well, don't you know about the bird

Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
--- "Surfin' Bird," The Trashmen   



GD Deckard
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 2:16 PM
Here's some redundant overkill...
"I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run, Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun."
 - Steppenwolf, The Pusher

--edited by GD Deckard on 10/16/2013, 2:19 PM--


Carl E. Reed
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 3:20 PM
Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 608


Heh-heh! Brandi, Bradley, GD--hilarious!
Great contributions! I hope people keep this thread going; we all need a good giggle now and again.

Mimi Speike
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 6:38 PM
Joined: 11/17/2011
Posts: 1014


Well, Bob Dylan did tell Joan Baez that she was a terrible songwriter. And I've always cringed a bit at those lyrics. I do, however, love the first line: "I'll be damned, here comes your ghost again ..." I also love the line about the hotel in Washington Square.

.

Wait a damn moment! It was in that very song that Joan, addressing Dylan, sang: "My poetry was lousy, you said." An ipso facto proof if ever I saw one.

.

The diamonds and rust thing, I never cared for that.

 

--edited by Mimi Speike on 10/16/2013, 7:08 PM--


Atthys Gage
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2013 12:50 AM
Joined: 6/7/2011
Posts: 467


Personally, I much prefer outwardly dumb lyrics with high energy music (such as "I Wanna be Sedated", which is at least pretty funny - and you can dance to it) to the vapid, pretense of poetry you find in a lot of serious songwriters.   An example does spring to mind, (because I just heard it on the radio):  

         "When the singer's done let the song go on,                    

               It's a fine line between the darkness and dawn

               They say in the darkest night, there's a light beyond..."

 

which is from a song Art Garfunkel sang back in the seventies.  I don't know if he wrote it or not.  For his sake, I hope not.  I mean, could he have fit any more cliches into those lines?  

Really, song lyrics aren't poetry, and they shouldn't try to be.  They can be great in and of themselves but they're supposed to work as part of a team, with the music, and the best do that.  

Oh wait, I almost forgot, maybe the worst rock song ever (and it was a hit):  "In the Year 2525"  It deserves quoting in full:

In the year 2525, if man is still alive.

If woman can survive, they may find


In the year 3535

Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lie
Everything you think, do and say
Is in the pill you took today

 

In the year 4545
You ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
You won't find a thing to chew
Nobody's gonna look at you

 

In the year 5555
Your arms hangin' limp at your sides
Your legs got nothin' to do
Some machine's doin' that for you

 

In the year 6565
You won't need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube

 

In the year 7510
If God's a-coming, He oughta make it by then
Maybe He'll look around Himself and say
"Guess it's time for the Judgement Day"

 

In the year 8510
God is gonna shake His mighty head
He'll either say, "I'm pleased where man has been"
Or tear it down, and start again

 

In the year 9595
I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive
He's taken everything this old earth can give
And he ain't put back nothing

Now it's been ten thousand years, man has cried a billion tears
For what, he never knew, now man's reign is through
But through eternal night, the twinkling of starlight
So very far away, maybe it's only yesterday

Alright, maybe that didn't deserve quoting at all.  


Bradley James Weber
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:53 AM
Joined: 2/13/2013
Posts: 5


What a way to spend the night

If I don't drown, I'll die of fright
My pappy taught me how to float
But I can't swim a single note
He threw me in to teach me how
I stayed there floatin' like a mama cow
And now I've floated way down stream
I know this has to be a dream
--- The Monkees, "Goin' Down" 

Atthys Gage
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2013 12:18 PM
Joined: 6/7/2011
Posts: 467


(clapping ala Leonard Pinth-Garnell):  "Awful.  Awful.  Couldn't be worse."

 


Carl E. Reed
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2013 8:21 PM
Joined: 4/27/2011
Posts: 608


@Atthys: Holy . . . !!! [low wolf whistle] That is an EPIC of . . . what would you call it? Adolescent drug poetry? Addled drag poesy? Adumbrated dick pricking? Sophomoric, surreal, stoner sci-fi?

--edited by Carl E. Reed on 10/17/2013, 8:25 PM--


Atthys Gage
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 1:31 AM
Joined: 6/7/2011
Posts: 467


All of the above, and set to the most pretentious, melodramatic music, complete with spanish guitars and strings and trumpets.  The lyrics make Led Zeppelin sound like John Donne in comparison.  

 


Brandi Larsen
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 10:56 AM
Joined: 6/18/2012
Posts: 229


Atthys Gage wrote:

All of the above, and set to the most pretentious, melodramatic music, complete with spanish guitars and strings and trumpets.  The lyrics make Led Zeppelin sound like John Donne in comparison.  

 

This made me laugh so hard. I love this thread.

--edited by Brandi Larsen on 10/18/2013, 10:56 AM--


Lucy Silag
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 3:25 PM
Joined: 6/7/2013
Posts: 1359


Mine isn't as good as the other ones, but I've never been able to figure out what the line "Motoring . . . What's your price for flight?" means, in the song "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger.

 

(That doesn't stop me, however, from singing this song at karaoke on a fairly regular basis.)



 

Jump to different Forum...