How bad is my synopsis?
Slide The Scales From My Eyes
is an urban fantasy about a young woman shown an impossible secret
and forced to use it to protect her fellow university students from
those who would enslave them.
Lea was an ordinary second year
student, trying to earn enough money from her work at Singularity,
the nightclub about to host the start of year party for her fellow
students at the University of Leicester. Then she's snatched from
work by a mysterious man who can wield light as a weapon. Carried
through the city in his arms with her arms bound in light, the sheer
impossibility of what is happening to her forces her to realise the
truth of the world. A truth that will forever change who she is.
There is a fifth dimension to reality
alongside space and time. It is the emotions of an area, as strong
and as real as light and gravity, but only those who have been
Awakened, forced to see reality through untinted glasses are aware of
it and can manoeuvre in it. Lea has just joined that elite
brotherhood, granted both impossible power and a permanent division
with those who remain unaware.
Dragged across the city by the
machinations of the different Awakened groups and her own decisions,
Lea struggles to understand what has happened to her and the
interests she has stirred. A prophecy drags her before a church
steeped in despair while a team of parkour-loving hedonists expose
her to the secrets of her erstwhile employers. Fighting to keep her
identity, she tumbles on a conspiracy that threatens her incoming
classmates and, potentially, the world.
The only lodestones she has is the
power that has awakened within her and the friends of her original
captor. The Agency, a group of Awakened private investigators, alone
seem not to want to control her and one of their number, Molly, seems
to hold more than a professional interest in her. She'll need all the
help she can get. If she fails, then a rogue mind-controller could
trigger the end of the world through his desire to make some quick
cash.Thanks in advance.
Basically, This is the blurb, not a synopsis, , with lots of generalities, like, “Fighting to keep her identity, she tumbles on a conspiracy that threatens her incoming classmates and, potentially, the world.” It’s too long for a blurb, though. A synopsis is a stand-in for the actual novel, to show the events and flow, from start to finish. It’s told in the present tense, and defines the events that matter to the plot. So being a second year student matters. Taking the job matters. But does it matter that the club is “the nightclub about to host the start of year party for her fellow students at the University of Leicester?” If that group, by that name, and the fact that the party was about to start matter, she was simply snatched from the club. For what it may be worth, here’s the first section of the synopsis for Foreign Embassy. It sold, so I must have been doing something right: - - - - - - - - The Talperno spacecraft that lands by the reflecting pool of the Washington monument is, in reality, a fifty-story Embassy building complete with revolving front doors. Fifteen-year-old boy scout, Ron Gibson, is there, and becomes one of the first visitors to the embassy. Now, a decade after that landing, Ron is a writer searching for a way to make his book on the visitors more interesting. In an interview with a scholar who has been studying the aliens Ron is told that the visitors have been misleading humanity from the beginning and are preparing to take control of the Earth. Not ready to believe, but willing to listen, Ron accompanies the man’s daughter as she hikes on state game lands, where they are inadvertently included in the hunting of a human by a group of armed Talperno. Ron and Patricia survive the hunt, and travel to Ron’s home, where, with others, he will try to develop the proof needed to convince the government of the real situation…
Slide The Scales From My Eyes is an urban fantasy novel about a young woman shown an impossiblesecret and forced to use it to protect her fellow university students from those who would enslave them.Lea is an ordinary girl in her second year of university, earning her way by working in Singularity, a new bar that's opening in a few days, just in time to catch the start of the new semester. She's a nobody in the grand scheme of things, but that all changes when a mysterious man snatches her from work, tying her up in ropes of light, and carries her through the streets like it's the most normal thing in the world. The sheer impossibility forces her to confront the world hidden beneath her own, leading her to a most unwelcome epiphany: that this is real and only the tip of an impossible iceberg.Taken to the Agency, a private investigation company with its fingers buried in the hidden side of Leicester, her new reality is explained to her. She has just been 'Awakened', exposed to a fifth dimension of reality known as the Shadow, where emotions are as physical as concrete and terrible, impossible things lurk. Her only bonus from this permanent change to her world is her Lexicon, a single concept that she can control. Storming out, Lea touches one of their number, a beautiful, athletic woman called Molly, and experiences a strange hallucination from the other girl's history. Shocked and disturbed by this, she flees home to escape.Her journey home shows her the reality of her new world, as she walks past the squamous shadows that infest her city and the creatures that keep them fed on the populace's emotions, but worse is to come when she arrives home. Two Awakened are waiting for her and one drags her deep into the Shadow before she can escape. Any hope of fighting back is battered from her brain by the flood of hallucinations as everything she touches shows her its story.At the last moment, she's rescued by a beautiful young man travelling in the Shadow. Her rescuer takes her to the shelter of his Awakened church, where those who cannot deal with being Awakened hide from their reality. Unfortunately, this is another trap. The church's leader has built a machine from the Shadow to predict the future and she is at the centre of the prophecy to give birth to a new Messiah.It also reveals that her Lexicon is Memory, her hallucinations memories she has unknowingly drawn from physical contact. Unwilling to go through with his plans, Lea escapes with the aid of the machine and finds Molly outside the church.Molly takes her in and convinces her to return to the Agency for help, but she is grabbed by a group of parkour-loving hedonist Awakened and returned to Singularity. She wakes up devoted to one of her bosses, utterly convinced he is God. Over the course of the day, this mental disconnect eventually forces her to use her Lexicon Memory to remember what has happened to her. The truth is that she was under the control of her boss and convince of his supremacy. Sneaking out of Singularity, she escapes back to the Agency, seeking Molly's help.Putting together everything that's happened, they come to an epiphany: her bosses at Singularity plan to use their mind control to enslave all the students at the end of term party they're holding that evening, a plan that has dire ramifications if it gets out of control. Appealing to the Awakened authorities doesn't work, so they decide to interfere themselves. Faking a fire alarm, they confront the leadership of the club before they can gain control and stop them in their tracks.