About the Book:
Query Hook: When Missy Masters discovers that her grandfather led a double life as the vigilante hero Mr. Mystic, taking on his mantle seems like a chance to do some good. After several resounding failures, Missy travels to Sichuan, China to seek the aid of Lung Huang, the ancient master who once guided her grandfather. Missy soon finds herself embroiled in the politics and enmities of her new master and his siblings, the nine dragon-guardians of creation. When Lung Di – Lung Huang's brother and mortal enemy – raises a magical barrier that cuts off China from the rest of the world, it falls to the new Mr. Mystic to bypass the wards and take down the barrier. With the help of old friends and new allies, Missy must seek out Shanghai's triad societies and elude capture by China's state-sponsored People's Heroes. As she prepares to confront Lung Di, Missy faces a tough decision: cling to her master's principles and see China destroyed, or side with the bad guy and save the world.
About the Author:
Alyc Helms is ABD in anthropology and folklore and works as an editor for an academic press. Her short fiction has appeared in Daily Science Fiction.
This novel is complete and has gone through several rounds of beta-reading and revision. I'd love to get responses on my query hook in addition to my first two chapters. How does the pacing (too fast/too slow) and exposition (intrusive/inadequate) feel? The structure swaps back and forth between Missy's training in China and her return to China as a full-fledged adventure hero, with each section bringing in characters, events, and meaningful clues until they collide at the climax. For these first two chapters, does that seem to work or is it too jarring? Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Requested feedback Criteria:
Overall Feedback, Voice, Setting